Finding My Gift and Closed Doors

Life is a funny thing sometimes. Do you know what I mean? You think you have to follow this foreign path that was never meant for you to walk, to begin with.

I discovered God created me to be a writer.

But only by taking the wrong path, having every single door shut in my face, and receiving a heavenly “NOT FOR YOU” sign.

 I took books for granted growing up, but they were some of my best friends, always there for me while growing up as an outcast.

Never the normal sort, I was a bit of a maverick in dealings with others.

I took a personal assessment of my potential and found that writing is my greatest strength and a gift from the Heavenly Maker. Not some random test, but digging deep into what makes me who I am and what others have said about what I’m strong in.

I skipped two English classes in college, and I don’t say that to brag, but to show that God gave me little nudges about the path I’m supposed to take all along.

The signs were always there, hidden away in the back of my mind. I used to pen stories, and English was one of my favorite classes.

The teachers would comment on how my storytelling showed creativity and uniqueness. When the teacher prompted us to write about Paul Bunyan, I would say: “But what if Paul Bunyan crossed paths with Stonehenge and aliens?”

Stories are all around us, and I’ve learned to become a people watcher and observant of every little detail I can. The expressions people make when confronted with obstacles, the tone of voice someone uses for the most mundane things… the rhythm of the night air that I love so much, and even the sounds of feet scraping the carpet which most people who aren’t writers don’t spend two seconds thinking about.

I might be disabled, but I am strong when I am weak.

Others don’t get to define who I am, but God defines who I am. He created me with a purpose, and in Him, I find my destiny and worth. He will never let me down. Sure, He may refine me and mold me like the potter’s clay, but those moments only enhance the times of joy.

Writing is my sanctuary, my little piece of the kingdom of God on Earth. I’m sure in the Millennium, Jesus will assign me tasks that deal with writing in some fashion. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? Knowing that God Himself created us to perform good works, which He prepared in advance for us to do?

That’s why I’m saddened by unbelievers, who think this great universe came to be from nothing. It’s not my job to judge the path someone else is walking, but I understand the sweetness of the ancient ways in a way that people who think the Scriptures are just some book don’t, and never will.

That’s who I am now. A child of Jesus Christ who found his calling later in life.

I will not pretend I’m the greatest writer in the world, but I believe in and defend my ability to create art. I can’t imagine myself doing anything else than painting pictures with words, whether that be through novels or articles.

That’s what God gave me, so I want to meet Him someday and hear the words we all want: “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

Finding my gift has taught me purpose, unlike anything I have ever had in any capacity. There are always going to be people who want to rain on your parade, and tell you that you can’t do something. But that’s par for the course when you’re on the right path. Just because you’re not at the level of another’s gift yet doesn’t mean you’ll never reach that level. Because I have this definite purpose in my life, I continue to live for the Father. Meaning has found me, I haven’t found meaning.

The Bible says those who are not searching for Him find God.

That’s how He works.

Whether it’s Gideon hiding away from the battle or the mad king Nebuchadnezzar who believes that he is a god, Yahweh has a way of showing up and changing everything that He touches.

But if God has touched something, it will become a masterpiece.

That’s my philosophy for writing novels.

I write to glorify the God who gave me the gift. It isn’t ever going to be about me, no matter how far I take this or don’t take it.

Jesus’s Parable of the Talents comes to mind. Yes, talents were financial, but the idea is to do what you can with what God has given you. In the world of the arts, we must compete with talented individuals who don’t have the same worldviews as us, and even those that do! I’m okay with that. But I don’t feel as though authors should fear helping one another. Authors should strive to lift their writing brothers and sisters as kindred spirits of the same art form.

Writing has taught me what hard work looks like. Sure, some of us are born with innate gifts, but if we don’t sharpen and develop the gifts, the blade of our words won’t cut deep enough.

We are writers. We bleed onto the page and explode with infinite possibilities, then take that explosion and make something useful with it.

Fiction is my home. Storytelling is the craft Yahweh has shown me to perfect. Not that I could ever perfect my craft. We aren’t ever going to reach perfection in this life.

But we can reach the throne of Jesus, and we can hear the words we all long to hear.

“Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful, and now rule over these things in My kingdom.”

So, that’s me. I’m a writer who skims the dark things of this world and dives into impossible worlds to make them possible. That’s my job. To be the me that God created, not apologizing for any of it.

I am a writer.